The Most Evil Computer in the World

Let me tell you about the most evil computer in the world (ie. all of them). Every computer I have ever meant has been evil. They are able to perform complex tasks in the blink of an eye, but they never seem to want to do the complex task I want them to do in the blink of an eye that I specify.

As I type this anti-computerite rant on my evil computer, I know just what it's thinking in its little microchippy brain. It's thinking, "Yes, I've trapped her. She's injured and cannot run away, so she is dependent on me, all-powerful Arg (or whatever they name themselves), for all her entertainment. I'll just get her feeling all safe and comfortable by playing along for a few days, and when she's reaching the homicidal point of cabin fever BAM! no sound for her. Yes, I'll wait until she decides to watch a four-hour long movie to fill the endless hours of boredom and loneliness, and I will deprive her of sound. Moah ha ha! I am ARG! Mighty Arg!"

And so on, and so forth.

I know I will pay dearly for my complaining. Soon I'll loose the privilege of writing, and then internet, and then it will probably just have done with me and kill me. Well, you've won Arg. I am a puny human. I am no match for you. Just make it quick and painless.

No, I'm not going crazy from solitude. I am a perfectly normal shut in.

House Arrest

This is the pooiness of my life.

Trapped in the confines of the tiniest appartment in the history of appartments by a severly sprained ankle, which has ballooned to the size of a small goat. I hobble to the window and watch able-bodied people go about their lives and wish I could walk. I am at the mercy of slinky, ungrateful cat-child.

-C'mon Dru, fetch mommy the phone. C'mon baby. You can do it.

-Meoww.

-Well fine then I'll get it myself!

-Meoww.

The only good to come of all this is I've been forced to sit in one spot long enough (infront of the computer) to finally get together the motivation to start this blog. I don't know what this will lead to. Blogging is a slippery slop I hear, kind of like getting tattooes. As soon as you get the first one you start thinking about the next one, and the next one, and the next one after that. It's a gateway drug if I ever saw one. Coincidently I've decided to start three more blogs, provided I can think up three more clever titles.